Sunday, December 29, 2013

REBOOT

You see, i'm not the typical type of person to have a resolution every new year.
But I feel that for some reasons, I need to reboot myself and have a resolution for this coming 2014.
I really don't know if I can keep up but i'm hoping that I would somehow fulfill even just one or two with this first (serious) resolution.

1. Family comes first.
Ever since my Dad died earlier this year (2013), I have been aloof with my family, especially with my mom. I guess this is my way of coping up, to be alone. I didn't think twice leaving her like that because I knew my Tita  and my Nieces/Nephew will be there to accompany her especially when she gets lonely. But as the spirit of holiday starts, it was reminded to me that my family must always comes first. Not the lovelife, not the career, not the material things... FAMILY comes first. So this coming new year, I swear upon my life to put them first in my list. Although i'm pretty sure there would be couple of moments when we would argue and fight, but that's normal. Even if we do fight, deep inside I would still love them no matter what. And if some certain people would not be happy with  my family, then I guess that some certain people must be out of my life as well. Family is everything to me and if someone doesn't appreciate their value in my life then I guess it will be a reason to say goodbye.

2. Say goodbye to N-E-G-A-T-I-V-I-T-Y
Prior to our weekly bible study, I was a pessimist. I always look into things negatively. But since I started the School of Word, I became an optimist. I'm willing to broaden it this new year, and I'm excited to see what would happen if I did it.

3. Lose "some" weight (I'm dead serious)
Yes. This time, i'm pretty serious. Although, hindi naman ako sobrang sobrang katabaan, in this society, i'm still fat. You all know that this blog originated for "plus sizes" like me, to encourage to love the curves.. but sometimes when people really mocked you even if its just a joke, you would still be hurt. Me? I've had enough of the hurt already. There were certain people who unknowingly hurt me because they were subliminally telling me that i'm fat. It hurts because they are special to me and I don't want them to dislike me because I am fat. The thing is, I did gain weight, but in a span of a month, I did, also lost that weight. Okay honestly, the fattest of me was 185lbs., and just yesterday, I'm now 173.2lbs (including the noche buena). I've been struggling with it but the result is wonderful. My only problem is to love myself a little bit more.

4. Love myself... a little bit more.
I admit it, I have a problem with love, especially with loving myself. It all stared when puberty hits me. 10 years ago, I didn't care how I look because most of the time there were others to fix me since I was in a competing realm of ballroom. Casually, I was a mess. I don't do fashion to myself because I'm not confident with myself, even though virtually I would love putting up outfits in every possible way. I tend to be "emo", slitting cuts all over me etc etc. Also, there was a time when I give love to others more than I give love to myself. Now, even buying things for myself wouldn't make me genuinely happy. I really don't know how to start this, but I promise myself that I would try and make it happen.

5. Have a bucket-list
It has been explained to me that having a bucket-list is a thing now! Therefore, I will try and finish writing my first ten bucketlist before the year ends and I hope that I would expand this list for me to enjoy and have fun.

and lastly...

6. Be a ray of sunshine
I wanted to everyone around me to be happy, that is what I lived for. I wanted them to feel that I will always be there whenever they needed to smile and be happy. I wanted people to be happy, but I don't want them to make fun of me! I wanted to inspire people because seeing their happy faces helps me to be happy as well and it washes away all the negativity I have.


I had a pretty rough year this year but I still thank the Lord with all of the blessing He gave to me. I'm looking forward this 2014 with a smile on my face and a big trust of my faith!

There you have it! If you, my readers, have a sincere new year's resolution, I would love to hear it from you!
I hope you've had the best Christmas and I hope you'll have a blast (not finger blasting type) this New Year's Eve!


Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!




xo,
K

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